5 Ways To Cope With A Long-Distance Relationship At Uni
University often means moving away from your family, your friends and – if you’re in a relationship – then also your significant other.
A long-distance relationship can be a really challenging experience, with few people having anything positive to say about it, and plenty probably telling you that it’ll never work out and that you’re better off abandoning your S/O.
Never fear; it doesn’t have to be that bleak. Plenty of people manage a long-distance relationship throughout their time at uni, and although it may be tough, your partner is worth the effort. Here are some tips on how best to cope with the inevitable ups and downs.
Agree how often you’ll visit each other
Decide a feasible routine of meeting up and try to stick to it. Every other weekend is usually a good place to start, depending on the distance in question. If you’re in different countries, however, this is probably quite ambitious, not to mention expensive!
You need to remember that you’re living on a student budget and that travel can be pricey, so don’t commit to more than you can afford. Take it in turns to visit one another so that one of you isn’t bearing the brunt of the expenses.
You may find that some weekends one of you has other commitments that mean you can’t see each other after all. This is fine, but at the same time, when you see each other so little it’s important to try to prioritise these visits. This might mean missing out on hanging out with friends sometimes, but remember that the majority of your time is still spent with them.
Text and Skype when you’re apart
This doesn’t mean texting constantly; you’re both probably busy with uni work and socialising, and you don’t want to be glued to your phone 24/7. A little message just to ask about their day or how they’re doing is all that’s needed, just so that they know you’re thinking about them.
Skype is handy for a long-distance face-to-face chat. You can even just have them on in the background while you’re doing a bit of work or cooking dinner!
Allow yourself to struggle
Being apart from your partner for weeks at a time is always going to be difficult, and it’s okay to find it a bit overwhelming every so often. Ring or text them so that they can cheer you up, or treat yourself to some comfort food and have a cosy night in bed watching a movie or show that they hate.
There’s a good chance that one of your new uni friends will also be in a long-distance relationship, so go and have a moan to them about how rubbish it can get. It’ll make you feel better to have someone other than your partner who understands how you’re feeling.
While you’re at university you’re going to make a whole new group of friends, and it’s only natural that some of these will be of the opposite sex. While you or your S/O may not normally be the jealous type, the distance can amplify even the smallest of these feelings. This makes it much easier for doubt to fester.
Introduce your new friends to your partner when they visit, so that they can see they’ve got nothing to worry about. You might feel like it’s best not to mention that evening when you and your hot flatmate watched a movie alone in your room, but if it’s innocent then why not be open about it? Keeping secrets like that will make them like seem much more of a big deal than they actually are when they eventually come out.
Remember your reasons for doing it
As already mentioned, sometimes a long-distance relationship is going to be harder than others. At times like this, remember your reasons for sticking with it. There’s no point breaking up because of how little you see each other, because if you end it then you’ll see each other even less, solving nothing.
Try to appreciate the time you have to yourself, and remember how much more special it feels to see your partner after a fortnight apart. Use your weekends together as a study break, making the most of every minute by planning fun things to do – whether that be going on days out or just chilling in bed binge-watching the latest cult series on Netflix.
A long-distance relationship can be difficult, frustrating, and emotionally draining. However, if you put the effort into making it work then it will be incredibly rewarding and worth the tougher times.