4 Reasons Why You’re Losing Friends At Uni
Why do we lose friends at university and after? It might sound harsh but your current BFF might not be your bestie in three years’ time. Even if you’ve been friends since high school and think you’ll be that way forever and forever, sometimes it’s just not meant to be.
You learn so much at uni, not just academically but also on a personal level. You’re finding out who you want to be and what’s really important to you. This process inevitably involves leaving some people behind.
Here are some reasons why you lose so many friends at uni.
You’ve changed, they’ve changed, people change all the time! At this tender age, you’re still only just beginning to find yourself. You’re realising what kind of people you want to surround yourself with and why. Sometimes, that means cutting ties with others.
Now is the time to drop the drainers and the downers. From the frenemy who makes sly digs and constantly moans to the school mate who’s grown into a totally different person, you need to sort the wheat from the chaff. It’s natural, it’s inevitable – it’s even recommended!
People grow – or not, in some cases
When third year students look back at their first months at university, most see a different person.
People grow. You’re getting older and your priorities are changing – but not necessarily at the same rate at your peers. Perhaps some people are at a stage in life that you’ve passed by. You might have had friendships that revolved around going out every other night, but now you’ve got other things going on.
If your friends are still in that party mindset and you’re not, or vice versa, then it could cause conflicts and make you drift apart.
No more kiss and make up
In high school, college or uni if you had a full-blown argument with your friends you’d usually make up by the end of the week. You’re in the same classes, you see each other around campus and it’s just easier to kiss and make up.
But after you graduate, you’re not seeing each other everyday. If you do happen to have an argument you could be going weeks or even months without reconciling. Unless one of you actually wants to make the effort to reach out, you’ll just end up not speaking. Ever. Again.
You go your own way
Now that uni is over and you’re all working in the real world, you’ll find that busy schedules and long distance can end friendships pretty fast.
If you work completely different hours or live in another city/country, it takes a lot of work to keep the friendship going. If it fizzles out then you know that it was more a friendship of convenience and that’s okay! At the end of the day you’re not obliged to keep in touch with anyone and no one is obliged to keep in touch with you.
Even though this sounds quite sad and a tad scary, try to embrace it and learn from every situation. Some people are meant to be part of our lives forever and some are just meant to be part of a certain stage in our life. It doesn’t mean what you had was fake; it’s just a part of growing up.
Haleema Khokhar also known as Kimi (a college nickname that stayed) is a journalism graduate working in the world of marketing and freelance writing. She loves animals, dance and a strong cup of tea. Check out her website and Twitter at @MyImpression_ you can also check out her personal Twitter at @KimiKhokhar