What to do if you don’t get along with your flatmates
University is hard enough when essays and other assignments are combined and thrust upon you. That’s without the issues of friendships and becoming accustomed to a new lifestyle.
However, when university is advertised, people don’t say that getting along with your flatmates may not run as smoothly as the cheesy pamphlets portray.
For the most part, the selection of people whom of which will be sharing your communal areas with is out of your control. There really is no way to determine whose company you will have to endure or who you will get along with.
Nonetheless, there are a few things you should be aware of if you don’t find yourself smiling gormlessly over a picnic blanket acting as though you too are a part of the photos advertising universities around the country.
Spend time getting to know them
Before you assume that they are the worst human beings on the planet, get to know how they work a little more. Spend time with them, even if it is just watching a movie or eating dinner together. Sometimes it is just the little things that make the biggest differences.
The honeymoon period
It is a well-known fact, that getting to know someone is always a rollercoaster of emotions. Some have likened it to the period of time after a couple is wedded. It’s the time where people have their guard up a little more than usual as to impress or portray themselves in a good light. After all, they are in the same boat as you.
Once this perfection period is over though, that’s where the real personalities start to emerge. This is where you might find yourself taking a dislike to certain members of your flat. This is okay though as you shouldn’t expect to get along perfectly with everyone. Just handle things in a mature fashion and always take the moral high ground. An argument is never really worth the energy that you put into it.
It’s okay to be selfish sometimes
If you have given them a fair chance, now is the time to make the decision; to like or not to like? If the answer is dislike, then you can handle it two ways. You can be civil, allowing you to both co-exist in harmony without knowing each other’s schedules and what music gets them up and dancing.
Or you can ignore each other’s existences entirely and continue with your studies drama free. If they aren’t a good person or feel that they are impacting on your mental health, let them go. It is sometimes better to be alone than in bad company.
Two’s company, three’s a crowd
Sure, you’ve moved away from home and want to surround yourself with as many people as possible, but it only takes one friend to make your experience more bearable than a group that only makes you feel isolated. It’s not the numbers that make up a friendship, it’s the compatibility and likeable values.
Making friends is an important thing to do when you start university, but it is also important to set aside time for yourself. Take time to take things in, to relax a little. After all, you have just made it to university and it is a huge achievement. You don’t have to celebrate by drinking all the time. You can just spend time watching Netflix and even doing assignments, it is what you are there to do.
If you really do struggle with co-existing with flatmates who you aren’t finding to be the friendliest of people, seek help from the university. You won’t be the first or the last person to experience drama when it comes to housemates so don’t feel ashamed of putting yourself out there and asking for help. At the end of the day, you’re technically paying for their help and support, so you might as well use it.
70% of universities now let students pick their own roommates, thanks to a little help from the Internet. So with the help of Facebook and other social networking sites, you might find yourself not needing to follow the tips above but always be aware of them if things should turn sour.
When all is said and done, congratulations for making it into university and do not be afraid to ask for help when you need it.