At least you don’t do this for a living…
Itâ€™s no secret that things in the employment sector are pretty tough right now. People are being forced to take large pay cuts, those made redundant are applying for positions far below their skill and experience level, and reports showed last week that graduates are struggling to get above a call centre position.
Yet, as new MSN article â€˜10 jobs no man would ever wantâ€™ showed, it could still Â be worse; Â far, far worse in fact. We did our own investigating here at Inspiring Towers and put together our list of ten of the worst jobs in the world (and no, we certainly wonâ€™t be arranging internships within them!)
Portable Toilet Cleaner
Anyone whoâ€™s ever been to a festival knows the worst part is the unavoidable visit to the porta-loo â€“ so how would you fancy the job of cleaning it?Â After a long, hot weekend with hundreds of thousands of ravers binging on fast food and discoloured alcohol you can only imagine the end results â€“ brings new meaning to, â€˜same crap, different dayâ€™ doesnâ€™t it?
Not only do roadkill collectors get to scrape off and pick up the decaying remains of dead creatures from the road, they also get to do it whilst braving oncoming traffic. Lovely.
Saddam Hussein’s Body Double
So we appreciate that this job is a little bit redundant now, but for years the Iraqi dictator and his offspring hired decoy lookalikes as a defensive measure (there were even rumours within minutes of Husseinâ€™s televised hanging that they had put the wrong man to death!) With few still alive to tell their stories, it certainly often came under the â€˜job for lifeâ€™ categoryâ€¦
Brazilian Mosquito Researcher
Scientists fighting malaria must study the biting habits of the mosquito that spreads it. However, the Anopheles darling mosquito found in Brazil is too smart for conventional traps â€“ so the scientists have to offer themselves as bait to catch the crafty little suckers instead. Considering that mosquitoes are credited with killing half of all humans who have ever lived, these scientists are certainly â€œbuzzingâ€ (Gettit?) for their cause.
Alaskan Crab Fisher
Youâ€™re freezing cold, youâ€™re soaking wet, you could get crushed under the two ton crab cage during a storm, or have a king crab chop off one of your fingers. Filing in the office doesnâ€™t sound nearly so awful any more eh?
Personal Assistant to Naomi Campbell
She throws phones, attacks airline staff and has been in and out of court for years over assault charges put forward by former employees. You might need a thick skull to stick out this jobâ€¦
Guard at Buckingham Palace
Regarded as one of the worst jobs in the British army (quite extreme when you consider another takes place on the frontlinesâ€¦) the Guards have to stand completely still, for hours, looking their best. Oh, and of course, they also have to keep straight faced and ignore the consistent antics of the British public and tourist alike as they try and break the monotonous stance (as if youâ€™ve never triedâ€¦)
A Colonic Irrigation Administrator
So you hardly need a Sat Nav to figure out where the end of that tube goes, and will hardly be surprised by what comes out. Hailed as a miraculous alternative medicinal therapy, the procedure helps to remove faeces and toxins lodged in your colon and intestinal tract from times past (or even a marble as one guy found that heâ€™d swallowed 25 years previouslyâ€¦!) Interesting stuff, but the fact is it involves a lot of poo, which is why none of us fancy the jobâ€¦
Flatus Odour Judge
In the research labs of mouthwash companies someone has to test product efficiency, and unfortunately that means enlisting the help of some halitosis sufferers to blow in said â€˜someoneâ€™sâ€™ face. Nice. But if you think thatâ€™s bad, Minneapolis gastroenterologist Michael Levitt paid two plucky people to indulge repeatedly in the odour of other peopleâ€™s farts and rate how noxious the smell was. We can only imagine how that reads on their CVsâ€¦
Sick Collector at Thorpe Park (or any theme park for that matterâ€¦)
After 619 â€˜sick shutdownsâ€™ last year at Thorpe Park, and an estimated 150 litres of sick kindly left by customers the year before, Thorpe Park were forced to employ 22-year-old Rhys Owens solely as the parkâ€™s vomit collector. It certainly wouldnâ€™t be our first choice of employment, though Owens, apparently, is quite happy with his lot in life. Talking to the BBC, he said, â€œI’m a massive fan of rollercoasters, so I’ve pretty much been on it every single day. If all I have to do is clean up maybe one or two bits of sick throughout the day I’m not really fussed. It’s a dream for me.” Yes, it really is quite the dreamâ€¦
What do you think? Got some more rubbish job you’d like to add to the list? Did an even worse job yourself?! Let us know in the comments below so we can all sympathise / laugh!